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Can I have a Phone PLEASE?

“Telefonica have an English website – ‘Telefonica in English’ - where you can order a phone online” my neighbour told me on a visit just before we moved to the area. Great I thought – I’ll get that in place and we should get a phone line shortly after we arrive. Hmmm....not quite so easy as it turns out.

I filled out the online form, gave our passport and NIE numbers, plus our bank account details for their fee. A technician will call within10 – 20 working days they say. We wait....and wait....I will call them and see what’s going on. Hmmmm no phone number that’s odd – I’ll email. They responded - ‘your address is incorrect’. Why did you not contact me? I thought - Oh well this is Spain! I provide the exact address as on Hacienda Local (Community Tax) bill. Back again - “I have updated your application...”- but we wait .......and wait.....

So three months down the line I email again. “The system can't find your address.” they reply. Deja Vous! - and then nothing. We call Telefonica on 1004 saying ‘English’ after all the Spanish blah has finished. Sorry ‘Telefonica in English’ are nothing to do with Telefonica and we have no responsibility for them.

Feeling very stupid by now, as I can usually spot a ‘scam’ a mile off, I set out to investigate. Well it does make reference to that ‘buried’ in their website…. but what’s this? Spanish News Articles Daily – “WOW! NEW TELEFONICA SERVICE IN ENGLISH…. a joint venture between Telefonica Telecommunications Publicas, Lifestyle Communications and Victoria´s Call SL.” Wonder who issued that?.....And another site: Anglo Information Costa Blanca: “Telefónica is the national supplier of traditional landline telephone service, …... Telefónica has a comprehensive English-language website: Telefonica In English” – www.telefonicainenglish.com

I shall investigate further..... I email ‘Telefonica in English’ with my concerns about the apparent deception. I ask for their comments, in the interest of objectivity, as I will be writing an article on their business activities. No response to that BUT within the hour I get an order number. Whoopee!

So we wait and wait......and nothing. I ask a couple of questions on a few of the ‘expats forums’. Am I alone here - obviously not. There seems to be so much confusion as to who these people are. Many have lost their money and have had no line installed. Their phrase “The system can't find your address” seems to be the standard excuse and then a black hole! I have now had personal emails from a number of ‘victims’ and none from satisfied customers. One had money deducted by both companies – so paid twice. Another complained to Telefonica in Madrid and for some unknown reason they thought he was part of the UK government. Miraculously a line was provided within a few weeks. Hmmmm interesting angle - shall I try that?

I ask ‘Telefonica in English’ for their comments again……as they don’t respond they must agree with me. Same Day!!!!….call from the real Telefonica’s engineers - a phone line!!!! They come – A line, phone, even a number. Twenty minutes later – “problema” – There is no spare junction box. Could be two days or two years. Ah well c’est la vie.